Background: I lived in Australia from 1998-2001, when I was 7-9 and my parents were still married. Now my dad lives there with his girlfriend.
The second visit wasn't as easy as the first. My dad was always at work, even though he tried to get away as much as possible. This meant that I had no choice but to face the nostalgia. With the exception of several lunches and all of the nights, I was by myself. On the third day I took the train down to where I used to live. I walked by my old house, school, and the beach that I used to walk on frequently. I felt something at the place I stopped for breakfast: It was certainly positive and almost happy, as if I had been taken back to an already glorified and almost idolized time. When I got off the train again, it was slightly nostalgic, kind of like how it is almost sad when something has changed and you see it for the first time. All the while, I was gradually thinking of how it was back then. The beach was the strongest. At first it was simply a walk, and I was too physically active to think too hard about anything. After I had turned back I was going on the same rant that I had started in July or August, mostly comprised of 'fuck', 'fucker', 'he', 'him', 'her', 'she' , and 'jackass' and was largely repetitive, but I didn't stop myself. That lasted for about 10 minutes. Today, I just sat around the apartment, recalling the implications and tangible effects.
Before, I was just passive to Louise. Now I only recognize her to mask my ignorance towards her. I hear them kissing (repeatedly) and I think more of her than him. I have continued to keep my feelings on the matter to myself. My mom doesn't ask because it is none of her business and my dad asks but I lie to him because I don't want it to be his business.
Don't get me wrong, I am glad that he his happier now, but it is solely because I know that it is better to change than to maintain a false truth or illusion of reality.
I just don't see a 47 year old man being so in love with a 40 year old woman. You'd think at that age you think it would just be assumed that they are 'in love' and don't need to unintentionally shove it in your face.
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